substack
(p.s. drag me!!!!!)
Cinematics
Please don’t get me started on this
recent
schmuck. Sometimes
it looks like all people walk funny, their feet
inverted, hunch-backed creatures
of night. Or hell. Or life, rather. Lately,
I’ve been into movies. Great pain
performed greatly, with expert ease: a sly
tear, some shaking, earth-shaking
screams, some breaking of glass. Or mirrors.
Sometimes both. Then
I don’t know what to do with myself.
Should I be holding a glass right now? Should I be
breaking it? Making a grimace, crunching shards
in my hands, devolving into some
character, somewhere, being watched,
or memorized, compartmentalized, then stored
for later. I store things for later, little snacks
and quotes and things people have said to me. Once,
we made up a game. We call it Picture Day.
We decide which moments are worthy
of sitting inside of. When we find one, we hold out
our hands, form little squares. I like fitting you
inside of that square, seeing you
through a film. Click, we say. I often flick through
the pictures later, marvel at what it’s like
to be real.
schmuck. Sometimes
it looks like all people walk funny, their feet
inverted, hunch-backed creatures
of night. Or hell. Or life, rather. Lately,
I’ve been into movies. Great pain
performed greatly, with expert ease: a sly
tear, some shaking, earth-shaking
screams, some breaking of glass. Or mirrors.
Sometimes both. Then
I don’t know what to do with myself.
Should I be holding a glass right now? Should I be
breaking it? Making a grimace, crunching shards
in my hands, devolving into some
character, somewhere, being watched,
or memorized, compartmentalized, then stored
for later. I store things for later, little snacks
and quotes and things people have said to me. Once,
we made up a game. We call it Picture Day.
We decide which moments are worthy
of sitting inside of. When we find one, we hold out
our hands, form little squares. I like fitting you
inside of that square, seeing you
through a film. Click, we say. I often flick through
the pictures later, marvel at what it’s like
to be real.