substack
(p.s. drag me!!!!!)
I’m Her
This
is evidence
of my human being, like
look at this photo of an us.
I’m making a grimace
because she’s sticking out her tongue,
next to my ear, see. And here,
here is a box full of stuff. A necklace
my mother had as a girl, and
this solid string, this yarn. Yarn
from an estate sale I don’t remember. And
if you sit next to me you can feel my
perspiration and desire to show you see,
show I’m loved. And then maybe
you’ll love me, or love my palpable
desire and obviousness in wanting, in asking
for a, see, for
At twelve, I counted oysters in Rega
with the Baltics overflowing into
my belly. I felt entirely full
of oysters and belly, and sea.
But, in that photo, I’m just
twelve and in Rega, holding stomach.
I affected that space. I counted oysters.
Maybe some of them had never
been counted, never
assigned. And the water
of the sea, see, it folded
over my ankles. And who can say
they’ve folded water in that,
specific way, see, the way it circles
calve then trickles
down with, also with
a tiredness, tiredness due to
intrusion. And see
me there: I’m stagnant but
effective. Hold the gloss
of the photo to see what I am to
the sea. I have definition
and purpose. I have made people
question things. I am someone
who affects and influences, who has
photos and evidence of this, who
has manilla folders of proof to remember
and covet and obsess over the moments,
and the things.
of my human being, like
look at this photo of an us.
I’m making a grimace
because she’s sticking out her tongue,
next to my ear, see. And here,
here is a box full of stuff. A necklace
my mother had as a girl, and
this solid string, this yarn. Yarn
from an estate sale I don’t remember. And
if you sit next to me you can feel my
perspiration and desire to show you see,
show I’m loved. And then maybe
you’ll love me, or love my palpable
desire and obviousness in wanting, in asking
for a, see, for
At twelve, I counted oysters in Rega
with the Baltics overflowing into
my belly. I felt entirely full
of oysters and belly, and sea.
But, in that photo, I’m just
twelve and in Rega, holding stomach.
I affected that space. I counted oysters.
Maybe some of them had never
been counted, never
assigned. And the water
of the sea, see, it folded
over my ankles. And who can say
they’ve folded water in that,
specific way, see, the way it circles
calve then trickles
down with, also with
a tiredness, tiredness due to
intrusion. And see
me there: I’m stagnant but
effective. Hold the gloss
of the photo to see what I am to
the sea. I have definition
and purpose. I have made people
question things. I am someone
who affects and influences, who has
photos and evidence of this, who
has manilla folders of proof to remember
and covet and obsess over the moments,
and the things.